


what if i pretend to love you?

by archekoeln



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:49:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archekoeln/pseuds/archekoeln
Summary: Blue Diamond smiled, small and sweet, and Yellow looked away.





	what if i pretend to love you?

**Author's Note:**

> purely a self-indulgent piece. a prompt from writing-prompt-s.
> 
> for bellow diamond week, if this counts.

slender fingers push against supple lips, between hushed laughter and muted whispers. they’re both fluttering from one shadow to another, passing through blind spots and crevices, sprinting from guard after guard with the intention of leaving them all in the dust. slipping through bars, hanging on pipes with blood pumping against their veins, skin throbbing with the sensation of evading their pursuers.

not that the two women have ever been captured before, honestly speaking. oh no, it’s never happened and it never will happen, not if Pink has anything to say about that.

the topaz guards hunting them have long since stopped trying, for the day at least, and it’s another victory for the duo to brag with fervor, a point to add to their list of achievements. White and Yellow would be amazed, and Pink can see their reactions now— two diamonds escaping from the combined forces of their own guard, leaving all of them behind in a trail of dust, glimmering pink and blue and purple.

newly birthed diamonds who still find it in them to lounge around, duties forgotten in the wake of an enticing time together, feeding their urge for rebellious adventure.

the chase had taken almost half of their day, and while it lasted longer than the usual, it’s still an impressive feat for them to accomplish— to find more and more places to hide within the sprawling metropolis of Homeworld; leaving even veteran guards scratching their heads in confusion.

they could even escape if they wanted to, leave Homeworld for much more out in the stars.

but, well, where would be the fun in that?

despite the fatigue raked across her body, Pink turned to her partner-in-crime, mischievous grin in place.

 _Blue._ she cooed, needle-like fingers brushing against Blue’s softer, silken skin. it’s an electrifying touch for the blue matriarch, an itch satisfied only by Pink pressing herself against Blue’s form. the other diamond yelps with a start, as arms wrap themselves around her. _it’s almost like i’m your blanket aren’t i. well, we would have gotten caught with that veil of yours._ Pink started, laughter filling the silent room they’ve holed themselves in, catching respite while they can. the sound is an orchestral symphony in Blue’s mind, and she hums in response, letting nails dig deeper into skin made of light and affection, sinew beneath shattered and oozing nothing.

they stay like that ( while Blue would wish it were forever, the fates have something else planned for them ) until a booming voice from the outside interrupts their time together. Pink sighed, Blue looked at her, and then they both laughed, rising as the doors burst open, flung to the other side of the room.

 _this is the fifth door this week, Yellow._ Blue chided, brushing away strands of nothing on her dress. the aforementioned diamond let out a guttural sound, brows furrowed and Blue doesn’t stop to stare, instead takes her leave out of the room. Pink followed suit, a finger sliding on Yellow’s cheek as she passed the diamond, deliberate and precise.

 _you’re pretty late._ and a giggle escaped Pink as she sauntered towards the exit. _it should’ve been you with her, you know._

.

.

.

when White gave Pink the planet Earth, Yellow wasn’t surprised.

it’s a small planet filled with organic life, filled with structures that couldn’t beat even Homeworld’s scrawniest buildings, filled with humans that wandered aimlessly for their purpose. it’s a gift for one of the two youngest diamonds— because the last one in that same system shriveled and died with her emergence. a planet with the same sun will sure to put a fire in Pink, make her into an unstoppable force that will surely colonize all other planets ( and the pun doesn’t go unnoticed, what with both Blue and Pink sharing thinly veiled giggling from behind the oldest empress ).

but as a gift, it’s alright. it’ll work. Pink needs to learn.

meanwhile, Blue gets a different planet in another star system, and while that somehow saddened her— the thought of being separated with Pink, maybe, she accepted the responsibility all the same. it was Yellow who’d done the giving this time, handpicking the best planet that she knew the other diamond would enjoy having.

she was rewarded a smile then. Yellow replied in kind, albeit tighter.

 _you should smile more often, Yellow._ Blue had voiced once, when they’d visited one of Yellow’s newer colonies. there’s a fleeting moment where Yellow would have loved to tell the younger diamond off, mind her own business. but she doesn’t, not when Blue’s staring at her with such rapture in her eyes, lips pouting at her for taking a while to answer. somehow, this doesn’t agitate her as much as she thought.

unless if it were directed to Pink, probably.

 _fine, fine. i’ll try. is this alright?_ her attempt ends with Blue’s giggling, and the matriarch crossed the distance between them to stand in front of Yellow. _oh, something like this, maybe._ she uttered, fingers brushing against Yellow’s cheeks. with Blue’s hand on her face, holding up the edge of her lips, Yellow could feel her gem almost jut from her chest. it struggled for a moment, whipping and trashing and convulsing with each second Blue held onto her.

it didn’t end even as Blue removed her hands.

.

.

.

Pink came out of the ground with the fate of conquering the planet Earth, but then, some years into her colonization, she suddenly wanted to set it free.

 _they’re sweet things._ she’d mutter to Blue and Yellow, tracing hearts around their gems, nails long and elongated and a brighter pink than her skin. _oh! this is called nail polish,_ she’d say when Yellow pointed at them, brows questioning. Pink raised her fingers for the two to see. _a rose quartz told me human females did this to hide their nails or something?_

she giggled, just as Blue raised her own hands, observing them. _what do you think, Yellow? should we ask them to do it to ours too?_

a hard nudge on her side, Pink’s doing ( and she’s grinning again, pushing the older diamond into a decision ). Yellow let out a sigh, taking off one of her gloves to inspect her own nails. _sure, i suppose there’s no harm in it._

Blue Diamond smiled, small and sweet, and Yellow looked away.

.

.

.

_my diamonds… you have to know… Pink Diamond… she…_

.

.

.

Yellow doesn’t know why Blue insisted on going to Earth. doesn’t understand why she needed to _go_ to Earth when it’s filled to the brim with corrupted gems, left behind by their own leaders. but she wanted to and as a show of good faith ( or some other nonsense like that ), Yellow accompanied her, bringing her own small fleet.

 _as a precaution._ she had stated, counting down the topazes and jaspers entering her ship. Blue merely shook her head, whispering, _i know what we did, Yellow,_ all the while looking afflicted ( as though the mere thought of that necessary course of action personally _hurt_ her ). Yellow didn’t understand _why_ Blue would think so— White seems to think it’s better for Blue to fall onto herself, mourning well into weeks without end. but Yellow wants to snap Blue from her current disposition— to bring back the Blue that acted with power and a presence fearful enough for her gems to cower at the mere mention of her name. a Blue that smiled with her bouts of rage ( against most pieces of furniture, unfortunately ), sharing secret stories with Pink, running her and White ragged with her silly acts of rebellion.

with Pink.

well.

when they arrive at the feet of Pink’s palanquin, Blue kneels and sends torrents of rain upon the denizens of Earth. she cries and cries and cries, fingers running through the steps covered in flora, pink hollyhocks littering the scenery. Yellow tries to step away, eyes awash with tears not entirely her own. but she relents from leaving, and instead comes closer and closer to the grieving diamond, touching a shoulder with a hint of trepidation. there is nothing soothing about the way Yellow’s hand graze on Blue’s skin, nothing to indicate to the yellow matriarch that her touch is helping her fellow diamond. this is more Pink’s forte— tingling affection with every grip as opposed to Yellow’s awkward pat. she tried anyway, conveying some sort of _sympathy_ for the weeping matriarch.

 _i loved her, you know._ Blue finally lets out, hiccuping away the last of her tears ( for now ), almost relishing on her sort of confession ( that Yellow already knew ). the whole of Homeworld probably also knew about Pink and Blue, honestly, what with the most gems spreading whispers within the palaces of the diamonds.

the blue matriarch paused, glancing at Yellow. there’s a sad look in her eyes, and even with the tear tracks adorning her cheeks, Yellow never thinks to divert her gaze, attention taken by her sheer presence. _i loved her so much. i think, i loved her too much._ if they consumed air like humans did, Blue would’ve expelled it all now, a shuddering moment. _but she kept on telling me, oh, what if i pretend to love you? it’s the same as loving, isn’t it?_

and she closes her eyes, enveloped in her memories, as Yellow watches her, astounded. it’s at this moment that she squeezes harder on her hold on Blue. there’s something burning in the pits of her core, squeezing her gem into _spite_ for the fallen diamond. Yellow can’t help as her fingers crackle with electricity, swallowing before she could let go and shock the other. and Yellow doesn’t even begin to understand the writhing that she felt, a pulsating echo deep in her belly, in her gem, in her head, as she looks at Blue, still immersed in her fantasies.

 _if you don’t mind,_ Yellow began— Blue lifts herself to stare at Yellow, but the older diamond’s eyes pointedly avoided her, _you could pretend to love me. it won’t be the same._ self-deprecating laughter followed, nothing could ever _be_ the same with what Pink and Blue shared, despite how it really was, _but it’ll be something._

.

.

.

Yellow can’t help but let her anger simmer beneath a claim of indifference, watching the once formidable Blue Diamond subject herself into this demented self-punishment, morose and and terrified and a little dead inside. 

thunder rolled within her, and she quakes in her boots. if Blue pretends, then it’s almost like it’s real.

.

.

.

Blue’s heart is as thin as a gossamer veil, and she wears it on her chest, now forever broken and robbed of the euphoric existence that was Pink Diamond. beside her sat Yellow Diamond, holding her hand, voice full of reassurances ( once alien to the yellow matriarch ), rustling lullabies into her ears.

.

.

.

 _it won’t be the same._ Blue had said to Yellow, repeating her words, as she wiped away the excess tears that fell after the older diamond’s declaration. _but if i pretend, i’ll let you pretend to love me too._


End file.
